


hey i be gone today (but i'll be back around the way)

by BookPirate



Series: i'll go wherever you will go [1]
Category: Horizon: Zero Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, First Time, PWP, Porn with Feelings, Post-Canon, basically i just have a lot of feelings, there's a little plot but not much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 19:47:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11630634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookPirate/pseuds/BookPirate
Summary: Aloy's feeling restless after the events that took down HADES. She's also feeling something that seems a lot like love around a certain Vanguardsman. Too bad she doesn't know what to do about it.





	hey i be gone today (but i'll be back around the way)

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, I don't know what I'm doing, okay. I just have a lot of feelings and haven't gotten laid in like three years.
> 
> Title from 'Say Hey (I Love You)' by Michael Franti & Spearhead

Peace. Aloy’s not even sure she knows what the word means. So much of her life has been spent in anticipation of something, whether it be the Proving, hunting down Rost’s killer, or trying to take down the Eclipse and HADES. Now, with all her battles over, she doesn’t quite know what to do with herself.

She’s spent the past two weeks in Meridian, healing from her wounds and taking her time to get the rest she’s denied herself for so long, as well as helping Meridian heal. But a restlessness has settled into her bones, and she doesn’t know if she can stay in one place for much longer.

Avad has offered her a position as the Military Chief, as well as one of his advisors, but that sounded boring, compared to her travels. Not that she had any more travels to take, but the idea of not being tied down, and able to travel wherever she wanted sounded more appealing than committing herself to the Sun King.

She sighs heavily and leans against the railing of the balcony she found to get the best view of the city. The sun is slowly setting, the red and pink hues seeming to beckon her towards the horizon.

She’s snapped out of her thoughts by a warmth settling by her side. Looking over, she sees Erend leaning against the railing, looking out at the sunset. “Beautiful, huh?”

A warmth settles in her chest, something she’s come to associate with the man beside her. “Yeah, it’s really something.”

“Where’d you go?” he asks, bumping her shoulder with his. “You looked a million miles away.”

“Just thinking,” she answers, leaning on him. “It’s been awhile since I left the city.”

Something in his posture changes, tension in his shoulders. “You want to go?”

“Not forever.” She sighs, turning to look at the expanse of land below them. “Just, I miss the feeling of going wherever I wanted.”

He relaxes. “You miss fighting the world?”

She snorts. “Not really. I guess I miss the freedom.”

“Yeah, I understand that.”

And she thinks, probably out of everyone in Meridian, he does understand. The Vanguard wasn’t built for staying in one place too long, but they’ve somehow managed to make homes in the Sun Kingdom. “How do you do it?” she asks suddenly. “Stay in one place.”

He looks at her, a thoughtful expression on his face. “I dunno. I guess I got tired of running. And Ersa was happy here, so I stayed.”

She hums. “This is your home.”

“Yours, too,” he offers, “if you want it.”

She ducks her head to hide her smile. “Well, I guess I’ll always need a place to come back to, regardless of where I go.”

“And I know you don’t want to go back to the Nora.”

“Oh, All-Mother no. They’re not my people. They never were.” She shakes her head. “Making me an outcast as a baby definitely severed our ties.”

He snorts. “I still don’t understand that.”

“The Nora are,” she searches for the right word, “superstitious.”

“To say the least.” He straightens. “Well, I came to see if you wanted to grab a bite to eat, but if you’re too busy philosophizing, I’ll understand.”

She laughs and gives him a playful shove. “Let’s go get some food.”

* * *

The thing about Erend is that she’s pretty sure she loves him. The problem is that she has no idea what to do with that.

She loved Rost, still loves him, for being the man who raised her; for being her father. But he never really talked about superficial things like _feelings_. The only time he ever seemed nervous was when she got her period, and, even though he sufficiently explained things to her, it was clear he never wanted to talk about it ever again.

Since joining society, she’s understood that kissing is a sign of affection, and that mating can be done for pleasure. She’s pretty sure she wants to do both those things with Erend, but it’s the getting there that confuses her and, if she’s honest, scares her. She doesn’t like the feeling.

Especially since the only person she can really talk to about it _is_ Erend. He’s her best friend, if she has one. But there’s something about the subject matter that makes her hesitate in talking to him. For one, he might not feel the same way, and then she’ll be stuck looking like a fool.

She decides a visit to Rost’s grave is in order, since it’s been a long time since she visited. She notifies Avad that she’ll be back in three weeks, and packs her bags. Before leaving, she knocks on Erend’s door. It’s pretty early in the morning, so she’s not surprised to see Erend is still in his sleeping clothes, yawning as he opens the door. “Aloy, hey. What’s got you up so early?”

“I’m leaving to visit Rost’s grave. I should be back in three weeks.”

That seems to wake him up. He searches her face. “Want some company?”

“No,” she smiles, “but thanks. See you in three weeks.”

He tugs her in for a hug, sweeping her off her feet. She can’t resist the urge to bury her face in the crook of his neck, holding him tightly to her for longer than necessary. When he sets her down, she steps back, almost shyly. “Hey,” he says with a smile, “I’ll miss you.”

“Yeah,” she exhales, “I’ll miss you, too.”

The ride to the Embrace is long, but the sparsity of murderous machines makes the trip go quickly. She reaches Rost’s grave in a week, and immediately kneels before it. She feels tears build up in her eyes, and lets them fall for the first time in a long time.

She doesn’t know how long she spends at Rost’s burial site, but it’s dark when she finishes telling Rost her tale. She knows he can’t hear her, but there’s something cathartic about speaking to his grave.

“Aloy.”

The voice startles her out of her reverie. She looks up, hand going for her spear when she finally recognizes the figure. “Teb.”

“Someone reported seeing someone out here about an hour ago. I thought it might be you.” He sits down next to her, facing Rost’s grave. “How have you been?”

She sighs. “Restless. Meridian has started to stabilize at last, and the city is recognizable once again.”

“That’s good to hear.” He pauses. “Have you come back home?”

She laughs, but there isn’t really any humor in her tone. “This isn’t my home, Teb. Not anymore.”

“I figured. So, you’re just back to visit Rost?”

“Something like that. The Sun King has offered me a position as the head of the Carja military, and I don’t know whether to accept it or not.”

His eyes widen in surprise. “That’s a big responsibility and honor.”

“I know.” She leans back on her arms. “I don’t think I would get much freedom, though, and I miss being able to roam, you know, helping people that need to be helped.”

“It seems like Meridian needs to be helped the most now,” he says thoughtfully. “But, you need to be happy, Aloy. You deserve it.”

“Happiness is a little more complicated than that.” She looks at him, and decides Teb is probably the best person to talk to about her feelings, outside of Erend. “There’s a guy.”

“Oh, All-Mother.” He turns red. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“This might shock you, Teb, but I don’t have many friends.” She looks back at Rost’s grave. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

He shakes his head. “No, I want to talk about it. You just took me by surprise, is all.”

She grins wryly. “Yeah, I guess I don’t really strike anyone as that type of girl.”

“Not really.” He bumps her shoulder with his. “So, talk.”

“I just really like him, and get filled with this warmth when he’s around, but I don’t know how to even start a conversation about it with him. I’ve never felt this way before, and it’s not like Rost wanted to talk about it. He thought we were going to be outcasts forever.” She sighs and lays back on the grass, looking up at the night sky. “I’m hoping if I ignore it it’ll go away.”

He snorts as he lies back on the grass next to her. “I don’t think that that’s how feelings work. Not that I have much experience. Are you two friends?”

She smiles a little. “Yeah.”

“And do you trust him?”

“With my life.”

He hums. “Then you should probably just say something like, hey I need to talk to you. I really like you.”

“That’s it?” she asks incredulously.

He laughs. “I’ve found that the most honest and direct approach usually works.”

She frowns. “Well, I guess it’s worth a shot.”

She spends a week visiting Teb and Varl, sparring with the latter most days. She sees Teersa once or twice, who gives her a knowing smile each time they meet. The other Nora always ask her if she’s staying, worshipping the ground she walks on, so she’s glad she’s got at least a few people that treat her normally.

On the last day of her week, she packs quickly, having said her goodbyes the night before. WIth one final stop to see Odd Grata, who, as an outcast, still won’t speak to her, but seems to be doing fine otherwise, she takes off to Meridian, resolve settled in the pit of her stomach.

* * *

She’s welcomed heartily by the Vanguard as she crosses through the gates. She smiles and waves back, quickly making her way to the Palace. She walks up the steps past the nobles that seem to never leave, and runs into Blameless Marad.

He raises an eyebrow at her. “Yes, huntress?”

“I have an answer for Avad, regarding his offer for me.”

“I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you,” Marad says, voice as emotionless as ever.

He leads her onto the platform Avad sits. “Aloy!” He grins. “I’m glad to see you’ve returned.”

“It’s good to be back,” she admits, “better than I expected.”

He smiles. “Are we growing on you?”

“Somewhat,” she allows, returning his smile before turning to a more serious topic. “I’ve come with a counter-offer regarding my position in the Carja military.”

“Oh?” Avad sits down on his throne. “I’m curious.”

“I don’t think I would do well being forced to spend all my time in one spot,” she tells him. “But, I like Meridian, and want to call it home.” She takes a deep breath. “So I was wondering if I could become more of,” she searches for the word, “a consultant.”

“How so?” He’s still listening, which is a good sign.

“When I’m here, I’ll help train the men, and run exercises for them, and listen to whatever issues you may have, but I’ll be free to leave whenever I want.”

“And I’m supposed to just wait for you whenever you feel like returning?”

It’s a valid point. “I promise to give you three days warning when I plan to leave, and I’ll try not to be gone for more than a month. If I feel I have to extend my trip, I’ll send word.”

He hums, before standing up. “Well, Aloy, you drive a hard bargain, but I’m hard-pressed to accept it. When do you want to start?”

“I can start tomorrow, if you want.”

“Let me get everything in order for you tomorrow. Is the day after okay?”

She smiles. “Perfect. Thanks, Avad.”

“My pleasure, Aloy.” He grins. “Before you leave, if you’re looking, Erend is at the Vanguard headquarters.”

She flushes and curses herself for it. “Thanks,” she mutters, leaving quickly.

As much as she hates to admit it, Avad was right, and she was wondering where Erend would be. She drops her packs off at Olin’s old house, gifted to her by Avad after the dust had settled, before heading over to the tower she knows the Vanguard have been designated.

She finds Erend in his office, pouring over what looks like the schedules for the guardsmen. She smiles before knocking lightly, causing him to jump and look up. “Aloy.”

“Hey. Busy?” she asks, stepping into the room.

“No, I was just finishing up. How was the trip?”

“Good. I got to see some friends and visit Rost’s grave.” She feels inexplicably nervous. “Want to get some dinner?”

He grins. “Always.”

On the way to the pub they tend to frequent, he asks her more about her trip, and she’s glad for the distraction. She then asks what’s gone on since she left, and the conversation carries them through dinner.

Erend’s drinking had slowed down considerably after they found Ersa, and she’s glad for his sobriety once they finish eating to walk around the streets of Meridian. Once they make the turn for her place, since he always insists on walking her home. She clears her throat, steeling herself so her nerves don’t get the best of her. “I have something to say.”

He looks at her with concern. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she gives him what she hopes is a reassuring smile, “and it’s nothing bad. At least, I hope it’s not.”

“You’re turning down Avad’s offer, aren’t you,” he says flatly.

“I did,” she admits, “but we came to a different agreement. I’ll be more of a consultant, and lend my help when I’m in town, which should be most of the time.”

He relaxes. “That’s great, Aloy.”

“But,” she says carefully, “that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Okay.” His curiosity must be killing him.

She closes her eyes for a moment, gathering courage. “I like you.”

He seems baffled. “I like you, too, Aloy. We’re friends.”

She groans internally. “No, I mean, yes we _are_ friends, but I’d like to be, I don’t know, more?” He freezes, and she’s afraid she might have overstepped a boundary. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I still want to be friends with you because you’re probably my best friend and I really don’t want to lose you so if I made things awkward -”

“Aloy,” he says hoarsely, interrupting her, “shut up.”

“What are you -” She doesn’t know what exactly she was going to say, because her thoughts seem to evaporate as he cups her face in his hands and presses his lips to hers.

She doesn’t really know what to do for a second, but the feeling of his lips against hers causes her eyes to flutter shut soon enough, and her arms to wind around his neck. His arms in turn wrap around her waist, dragging her impossibly closer.

She knows she can’t be very good at this, feeling sloppy and uncoordinated as she tries to let him take the lead in the push and pull of their lips. Finally, she has to break away for air, panting as he rests his forehead against hers. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” he tells her.

“Me, too.” She pulls back a little to see his face better. “I’m sorry if I wasn’t good. I’ve never kissed anyone before.”

“It was perfect. In fact,” he says, pulling her in for another kiss.

She gets lost in the feeling, and feels lightheaded from his affection. She pulls him closer, gripping the leather straps so she doesn’t lose her balance. He places a hand on her hip and squeezes, making her knees shake.

“We should go inside,” she whispers against his lips. “We might be making a scene.”

His smile is infectious. “Good point.”

He drags her inside by her waist, making her laugh when he stumbles in his haste to shut the door of her house. “Nice save, Erend.”

He smirks as he backs her against the wall closest to them. “Yeah, but you like it.”

Her response is cut off by another kiss, and Erend shifting her so he’s supporting her weight against the wall, putting her at eye level with him. It isn’t until a sudden urge to rid herself of her clothes strikes her that she gently pushes him away. He looks confused, causing her to smile before saying, “I’ve, uh, never done this before.”

He groans, dropping his head to her shoulder before gently setting her down. “Outcast. Right.”

She bites her swollen lip. “I want you,” she admits, “I just don’t know how that works.”

“Do you want me to show you?” he asks carefully.

She reaches down and twines their hands together. “I suppose I haven’t been clear enough. I mean, it’s not like I kissed you or anything.”

“Smartass.” He snorts, before kissing her almost chastely. “Come on, show me your room.”

She leads him up the stairs carefully, trying to settle the nerves that have once again appeared. It seems to show, however, because once they get upstairs, he smooths his hands over her shoulders and down her arms. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, Aloy. I can go.”

It’s almost too much, seeing this warrior taking so much care with her. Ignoring the sudden urge she feels to cry, she instead drags him down for another kiss. “I want this. I want _you_.”

“Okay,” he murmurs, his hands going to the strap that holds her skirt around her waist. “You don’t have to tell me twice.”

She smiles, kissing him again. “Apparently I do, though, so -”

With a laugh he drops the skirt to the ground, reaching for the tie to her crop top next. “I don’t even know why I like you.”

“Yeah,” she says, reaching to help him, “I don’t either.”

They make short work of the rest of her clothing, Erend lightly pushing her onto the bed to tug off her boots. He presses a kiss to the inside of each knee as he does, and it makes Aloy dizzy. He moves up to kiss her again, but she reaches for the buckles of his armor first.

“I guess I am still dressed, huh?” He smirks.

“In your armor, too.” She huffs. “It’s so damn difficult.”

He hums, leaning down to give her another kiss before ridding himself of his clothing, dropping it carelessly to the floor. He manages to get his boots off before she can get up to help him, crawling over her in no time.

She marvels over the expanse of skin before her, running her hands over it as she feels the tone of muscle and the scattering of scars. She would feel embarrassed about her curiosity if he wasn’t treating her the same way, moving his hands across her skin in a way that makes her shiver.

He presses kisses to her mouth and her neck before slowly moving downwards. She starts getting nervous the closer he gets to her genitals. “What are you doing?”

“Do you trust me?” he asks instead, kneeling on the floor in front of her.

“Yes,” she says, pushing herself up on her elbows, “but -”

She immediately falls back down as Erend buries his face between her legs, draping her legs over his shoulders delicately. Pleasure washes over her like she’s never felt before, and she can’t focus on anything but the feeling of his mouth moving against her in a way she feels should be obscene.

Unable to do anything but cry out and fist her hands in her sheets, she feels herself tighten and release, causing her to see stars. When she comes to herself again, she sees Erend grinning rather smugly as he moves so he’s above her again. “Good?”

She huffs a laugh, weakly shoving at him. “And I’m the smartass?”

He presses another kiss to her mouth instead of responding, the taste on his lips and tongue when he gains entrance strange and unfamiliar. His hand is rough against the skin of her breast as he massages it, causing her to arch into his hand. “Erend,” she moans.

He hums as he moves to kissing and biting at her neck. “What is it?”

“It’s not enough,” she whines, rubbing her hips against his. She can feel his cock hard against her, and gets even wetter at the thought of it inside her. She understands what the big draw to sex is, now.

“Patience, Aloy.” He bites down on the swell of her breast, moving his hand so it’s pressing against her clit.

She gasps, raking her nails up his back, causing him to hiss before inserting two of his fingers into her. Her hips start to move against his fingers, almost of their own accord. In the back of her mind, she’s glad her body seems to know what to do even if she doesn’t.

All too soon and she’s coming again, panting harshly into the crook of Erend’s neck. “All-Mother, I can’t believe I waited this long to tell you how I felt.”

He chuckles, lining himself up with her. “Isn’t it worth it?”

“Yeah,” she says catching his lips with hers again. “It is.”

The first push of him into her causes her no discomfort like she thought it might. The only discomfort she feels is at the sudden feeling of being caged in, with his arms on either side of her, and his weight settled on top of her. She tries to ignore it and focus on the pleasure as she winds her legs around him, but it becomes too much, and she pushes at his shoulder lightly. “Erend.”

To his credit, he immediately slips out and gives her space. “What, what is it?”

“I feel too crowded under you,” she pants, feeling ashamed. “I’m sorry.”

He softens, and lays down on his back, tugging her on top of him. “Don’t be sorry. Come on, you can be on top.”

She looks at him curiously before looking at his cock, taking it in for the first time. It’s hard and long and thick, and she gives it a few experimental tugs. He groans and covers her hand with his. “I’m not going to last if you keep doing that.”

She smiles, and gives him one more stroke before climbing on top of him, and positions herself over his hips. “Like this?”

He helps her move so he’s filling her again, both of them moaning out in pleasure. She’s not really sure what to do, so she tries rocking, and finds that the position gives her even more pleasure than before. He snaps his hips into hers as she leans over him to kiss him again.

He can’t seem to get enough of her, touching her every place he can before gripping her hips. She feels the pleasure building again, and presses her clit like he did earlier, giving it enough pressure before feeling what must be an orgasm overtake her senses. She collapses onto him, unable to continue holding herself upright.

He doesn’t seem to mind, sitting up and cradling her against his chest as he thrusts into her a few more times before she can feel him pulsing into her with a grunt. He falls back against the bed, and turns her so he’s not inside her any longer, and she’s curled up beside him.

Aloy is so tired she feels herself drifting off, even though she and Erend hadn’t even managed to make it to the pillows. He must realize that, too, because he drags them both so they’re resting properly. “Do you mind if I spend the night here?”

“I wouldn’t want you anywhere else.”

He presses a kiss to her head. “Yeah, same.”

She has enough sense to drag a blanket that usually is draped over the foot of her bed over the two of them. “And you’ll be here when I wake up?” she asks with a yawn.

“I’ll be here for as long as you want me,” he promises.

And she believes him.


End file.
